What Life Tells Us When Things Get Uncomfortable

I recently had a message from someone asking for some help and advice. Having gone through a similar experience, I thought that others might also benefit from me sharing.

I've never met this individual, & until receiving their message didn't know anything of them or their business.  Actually apart from our brief conversation, I still don't.

We'll call this person James.  Let me tell you a bit about James and his story.  James has been running his own business for a few years.  He's been trying to get things started, but everything he started, in his own words, ‘just ended up failing’.  His final piece to this jigsaw of desperation, was that his latest project has just failed.  As with most of us who've gone through this process, we all know how it feels when the wolves are not only at the door, but they're wearing big size 10's, trying to kick it down.

Still determined, he had an idea for a new business, but felt so burnt out and drained, he feels like he'll struggle to find the energy and enthusiasm to move that new project forward.  With a wife and family to support, the distress he was feeling, having that sense of confusion, not knowing what he should do next, was freezing him in his tracks.

James's plea for help came to me through a private message.  He didn't want to talk to me on the phone, and I had no real way of understanding where James was, or understanding his business and family situation to any greater depth than he'd already explained to me via the message.

Cautious of not knowing his state of mind, the last thing I wanted to do, was say the wrong thing, so my only real option was to live his current experiences through my own, stepping back in time to understand the thoughts and feelings I felt, as it were happening to me.  If you're going through something similar, I hope it helps you, like it helped James.

I know things seem tough right now.  Looking back at my life certainly for the last 15 years, but also much further back to when I was at School.  I look at the various things happening that I hated and couldn't understand why they were happening to me.  'What have I done to deserve this happening to me?', ‘Why does this keep happening?, ‘What’s next?’

I can honestly say that every one of these bad experiences, have led me to this point in my life now.  I know these experiences shaped me, for who I am today, and I'm sure the lessons I learn today, will make me the person I am 30 years from now too.  

I strongly believe that everything happening to us, just positions us, for what we’ll be doing tomorrow.

Although I know that these experiences shaped me, I also know that each one was just another piece of who I am today.  I now understand clearly what my purpose is.  I understand clearly what I'm meant to be doing here, & I cannot describe that incredible feeling when it all clicked - People talk about 'a light bulb moment', and this was mine.

If a project has ended badly, or your business has just failed, take time out away from it.  Don't make big decisions, your emotions are too raw right now, and will probably influence your decision anyway.

In 12 months, look back and reflect on all the lessons you learnt from the experience, until you actually feel grateful for the learning, rather than resentful.  Try to understand the reason it happened, but don't dwell on it.  We can't change the past, we can only learn from it.

Look at, and focus only on your strengths.  People spend a lifetime doing jobs they hate, because they believe it's the right thing to do.  Personally the only time I've hated the work I'm doing, is when it's something I'm not good at.  Focus on your strengths, and suddenly you start to enjoy life again.

Always keep the long term vision of yourself in mind.  Everything you do, should be moving you toward that, in one way or another.  I've always had a long term vision for my life, and for most of that time to date, it hasn't had any kind of label or tag of being my life vision.  I just always knew in my heart, that life would be better in one way or another, at some point in the future.  

Right back to when I was 8 years old, in fact every time things have gone wrong in my life, I've always kept that feeling of hope for the future.  Sometimes I think it's really the only thing that has kept me going, and moving forward.

Make decisions based on your future vision. Is this new project a small piece of the bigger pie, or is it someone else's pie, or even worse, maybe it's a fruit salad and has nothing to connect it with your future vision.

Short term thinking is okay for paying the immediate bills, but the short term thinking, getting what's right for today, will eventually lead to more frustration and stress.  Life has this way of making it stressful & uncomfortable for us, if we aren't moving toward what we're meant to be doing. It's natures way of kicking us back on the right track.

I believe some of us were put here to do big things, & if you're facing these same problems or frustrations, to me that means, you're one of those people.

The poet, Alexander Pope once said, 'Hope Springs Eternal.  Man never is, but always to be blessed.  The soul, uneasy and confined from home, Rests and expatriates in a life to come.'

Keep Going. Keep the Faith. The BEST is yet to come.

We hope you’ve received some value from this article, and some information that you can use to move forward toward your vision.

If you’re confident that selling your business is the way to go, or perhaps you’re undecided, it’s important to consider the significant amount of effort and resource you’ll need to make it happen.  It’s a full time job. - The time investment alone is enough to put anyone off.  So imagine for just a minute, that you didn’t need to do all of this work.  What if this could be done over the next 3 - 5 years (by someone else).  Everything we’ve listed in this article, is what you’d need to do, if you were selling through a business broker, or direct to a buyer.

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